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Quality: HD | Release date: March 10, 2018 |
Keywords: intimacy, sex addict, music | Genres: Drama |
Duration: 80 min | Original title: Unlovable |
There were a couple months that year I barely left my bed. I wasn't sick, but I was. All day I would lie there, and all night I would pace with anxiety, fear, a lost feeling, a sense of madness. My thoughts were so many, all over the place, and so very heavy. Whispers in my ears from all types of demons. Like a straight-jacket blanket-of-sorts, they kept my body paralyzed while my immature brain did its best to process this overload of contradictory information. It was around this time that I learned the word "dissonance," but having a word to describe my experience did little to ease the pain and pressure of it. Accepting that there would be no closure to the situation from which these thoughts sprung from felt impossible for some reason. I had left others in the dust without much care at all — why did you feel different? Why was it so difficult? I have theories, but ultimately... who knows. Three AM handstands against the wall. Pointing my middle finger at the ground, telling invisible things I didn't even believe in to leave me alone. No friends to talk to that would understand. No career, nobody wanting to shoot with my awkward, angry, broke & depressed self. Just Troy and our cats. A strained relationship with my family (better now:)). A roach infested apartment. A couple camping chairs and small television in the living room. Maybe 2 hula hoops. Through years of constant, often unpaid work, and personal growth via getting out there and "living"... You know what I have now? Deep friendships. Troy's giant family & support system. A career I hope keeps growing and challenging me. More cats. A million hoops. And Troy, although, I like to call him Alex:). He loved me when I was most unlovable, when I had so little to give. We've been engaged 3 years already somehow... I never imagined myself marrying anyone, let alone someone my own age (6 mos younger, actually?). I imagined being a rambler, a singer, a story-teller, a Lolita maybe sleeping around and writing stories about my love life and tortured soul. "Ain't no wifey!" But instead I have found myself creating a home, both physically, and inside the heart of one man. .....**(Continued next post....)**......
#leicester #oakham #Leicestershire #giveup #whatsthepoint #goodguysfinishlast #pointless #useless #unloved #mymyselfandmyphotos #bipolar #noonecares #noonelovesme
#morrissey #thesmiths #1984 Did you guys watch Morrissey’s new video for “Jacky’s Only Happy When She’s Up on the Stage”? It’s pretty funny!
Who is going to @sxsw?! The film I helped make, "Unlovable" is premiering Saturday, March 10th at 8:15pm and screening again Sunday, March 11th at 2:15pm!! ???The film stars Charlene deGuzman, Oscar winner Melissa Leo, and indie darling John Hawkes. ⭐️?⭐️ Congrats to @SuziYoonessi, @charstarlene and the whole crew! ??And thank you @CassieMiggins for this awesome poster!
Fuck. My. Life. . . . . . #depression #bpd #anxiety #eatingdisorder #ednos #anorexia #suicidal #selfharm #cutting #burning #bruising #starving #sadness #crying #breakdown #selfhate #hellonearth #worthless #unwanted #alone #lonely #failure #fuckup #givingup #imhereforyou #mentalillness
What’s Love got to do with it? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken? ?? #lovethyself #godisgood #godismysoulmate #godismyonlytruelove #heartsbreak #peoplearefake #sometimes #romanticloveisacrueljoke #fallinginloveisforfools #cruelfantasy #romance #romancekills #unlovablebyhumans
#leicester #oakham #Leicestershire #giveup #whatsthepoint #goodguysfinishlast #pointless #useless #unloved #mymyselfandmyphotos #bipolar #noonecares #noonelovesme
#leicester #oakham #Leicestershire #giveup #whatsthepoint #goodguysfinishlast #pointless #useless #unloved #mymyselfandmyphotos #bipolar #noonecares #noonelovesme
— hydropeel — • • • #morning #face #afterpeeling #bomdia #tagsforlikes #beard #curly #whiteshirt #ami #instagram #instadaily #instagay #muscle #dark #bedroom #wednsday #igersroma #browneyes #fruitoftheloom #picoftheday #bomb #me #follow #swag #iwannagrowup #push #workout #unlovable
Hate is a disease it is a #poison, Wether you are the #creator or the #victim . It will hold you back it will poison you, If you are the victim of #hate let the people doing this go if it's a #parent a #sibling a #friend a #lover . I know it's hard but you will #achieve more than you ever #dreamed without hate in your #life . If you are the creator of hate you are #poisoning #yourself as much as the people you #hope to #destroy . You will be #unwanted you will be you will always be #alone . Even when surrounded by other's. We can not all #see #eye to eye, But the effort it takes to hate someone is something that nothing #pure or #true will ever come from. #letgo #instagram #bohochic #boholife #gypsy #gypsysoul #boho #beauty
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